Remarkably similar paths to fascism here. Both hit it moderately big around the turn of the century with a traditional pop/rock sound (Train accented theirs with country, Maroon 5 with funk) that was on its way to being played out. They re-upped on the formula on well-crafted sophomore efforts (Train's "Drops of Jupiter" and Maroon 5's "Makes Me Wonder" era) and earned respectable, but weaker, returns. They were still within the pop firmament, but you knew where it was going: a few more albums loved only by die-hards, a rapid fade from the charts, break-up, and oblivion. Hello, Third Eye Blind.

Except that these guys were wise to what was happening and made the same fateful decision: better fascism than irrelevance. They completely retooled to mimic the early-2010s fad sound of tinny electronic dance-pop, and they ended up with hits: Train had "Drive By" and "50 Ways to Say Goodbye," and Maroon 5 scored with "Payphone," "Daylight," and "Maps." Good for them. They got what they wanted: millions of downloads. They also got what they deserved: cultural irrelevance as canned McPop Stars, and endless resentment from fans of real music for releasing such shit into the world. I enjoy a good dance song as much as anyone, but these jabronis don't come from that world. They're rockers who sold out, and I guarantee they hate their music as much as everyone else. The denial of self in favor of exploitation of others for money and power is craven, effective, and classically fascist.

This album design is pure evil. It's terrifying in every aspect. The factory-metallic color scheme. The bulk and girth of the letters with epic shadowing. (Why does the band name need to feel so gargantuan?) The uniquely hideous parallelogram shape that puts the words on their side. The triangles that point infinitely in all directions. The lowercase "i," just to remind you that they aren't subject to any rules and have cornered the market on subversion, too. And all this in service of a band and album name that screams corporate omnipotence. You're expected to know what "The Firm" is; further details are unnecessary. Some version of The Firm, in any good dystopian vision, is the system that keeps the individual tightly yoked in service to order.

And just in case you thought this was a twee side project from Belle & Sebastian featuring Zooey Deschanel, nope, it's a mid-80s supergroup starring Paul Rodgers and Jimmy Page. Chilling.